I’m sure someone is thinking that 10 years down the road, they’ll show me these posts on this very blog and I’ll laugh remembering how dejected I was. I cannot see the light at the end of this tunnel and every time I think it couldn’t get any worse, it does. During my last semester of law school and even during bar study, while I was stressed out and sleep deprived, I was never this depressed. During that period of time I wondered why I was pretty calm, didn’t have too many emotional breakdowns and generally seemed pretty centered. I now understand that this is because it was in preparation for one of the most trying times of my life. I’ve been through a hell of a lot in my life but this time right now–when I’m unemployed, tired, stressed out and broke, in debt with no hope left–is the worst that I can recall. Law school stripped me of my time, money, life, confidence and every identifiable shred of “me”; it put me in debt, made me question my choices, sanity and a host of other things. Please no one ask whether I think law school is worth it since honestly I think most will tell you it was not. For a small fraction of law graduates and practicing attorneys it is worth it. I am not one of them. I doubt I ever will be and even if some how I miraculously passed the bar this summer, there are no guarantees that I will ever get a job. I’m all out of silver linings and rosy outlooks. Life sucks, then you die, enjoy the moments of stray happiness because they are few and far between.

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